Local News: Drag Queen Brawl in Memphis!

Local News: Are Your Friends Making You Fat?

This bit of hard-hitting journalism comes from the good people at KABB-FOX in San Antonio...



Monkey Meter (1-5): 3 bananas

Monkey Moment: Disaster in the Delta

This is a great compilation of crappy TV from WXVT in mosquito-infested Greenville, Mississippi (market #184). See if you can keep track of how many f-bombs are dropped. Also, our candidate for the Worst Last Name in the History of Television News pops up at the 4:32 mark. Enjoy...



Monkey Meter (1-5): Another 5 bananas. This one has it all.

Local News: Ghost Caught on Tape?

A couple of days ago in Parma, Ohio a "ghost" was apparently captured on a gas station surveillance camera. We're kind of skeptical about this kind of thing over here in Monkey Land, but the video seems to speak for itself. Pranksters at work? A paranormal experience? You decide.



Monkey Meter (1-5): 5 bananas. Ghosts are almost as cool as monkeys.

Local News: Rage Caught on Tape in NYC!

A New York City dentist went into a violent rage after seeing that someone's car was blocking his way into a parking lot. Since it happened right outside their Westchester bureau, WCBS nabbed the exclusive video. And of course, the dentist eventually goes after the CBS 2 camera. When will people learn that bit of brilliant strategy never works? It's like running from a news helicopter. The person on the other end is always caught on camera looking like a dope. Do they think putting their hand over the lens and shoving the camera will make everything go away?

Monkey Meter (1-5): 5 bananas. The stupidity of people in front of news cameras never ceases to amaze.

What If TV News Writers Went on Strike?

With the writers' strike shutting down most of Hollywood, the Prompter Monkey was wondering what would happen if TV news writers everywhere went on strike. Would CNN's Nancy Grace still be able to preach to the masses and denigrate people on live television? Would NBC's Ann Curry still be able to stumble over the easiest of words every morning? Would FNC's Julie Banderas still be able to mindlessly and incoherently bumble through segment after segment? Maybe, just maybe, a TV news writers' strike would be a good thing. Or even a great thing. It would force the industry to make the people who don't write, and are fully capable of doing so, give it a go. Surely the show would go on. The Big Three networks and the cable outlets couldn't afford to shut down their daily news efforts because of a lack of writers. In the end, the product could actually improve.

Today's newscast producers, especially in local news, are largely out of touch with current events and, to put it nicely, don't have much of a grasp of the English language. Their grammar is awful, spelling is atrocious and attention to detail is non-existent. Maybe forcing anchors and reporters to earn their money by writing their own material would be the best thing to happen to this business. That way, the cream would certainly rise to the top and all the pretenders would fall by the wayside. There would be nowhere for them to hide.

Local News: Beach Erosion in Miami!

With the approach of Tropical Storm Noel, the Prompter Monkeys are out in full force in South Florida and wind-blown, dramatic beach live shots are plentiful.

Video links: [WTVJ] [WSVN] [WFOR] [WPLG]

And please, whatever you do, DON'T MISS this "Breaking News" from Weather Woes, featuring one of the great up-and-coming talents in the biz...



Monkey Meter (1-5): This is too easy...5 bananas!

Local News: Windstorm Whips Seattle!

This is a couple weeks old, but still hilarious. How's that for a perfect reminder to send your "dramatic" local news moments to promptermonkey@gmail.com.

Monkey Meter (1-5): 5 bananas

Local News: Missing Maps in San Diego!

Locals viewers rip San Diego wildfire coverage. Here is an excerpt from one of the questions sent to SignOnSanDiego.com:

"Where were the maps? Please tell me that you didn't unload $750,000 for a graphics system that can't do maps! Finally, after two or three days, we saw newsreaders holding up Thomas Brothers guides, and pointing with their fingers to affected areas. Certainly, some Emergency agency had a map in San Diego County depicting the fire locations. Why not find that map, lock down a camera on it, and paste it in the top right corner of the picture as it is updated? These airwaves belong to the public. Is it too late to reclaim them and assign them to someone other than an AD-SALES franchise?"

Monkey Meter (1-5): 4 bananas